WOW!

 Yes, I did  just begin this blog with WOW!

What a faith community we are! Filling up back packs! Standing on the Side of Love! Going to marches!

WOW!
And it is good.

I have a lot of really deep thoughts and I have no idea how to put them in to words.   Words seem to be less than enough. So sometimes singing must do.

What I am thinking most is what will be the next calling. . .

When I started this blog, I was feeling low and weary. Now, I am energized because I see that we are among friends. And it is life -sustaining to be among friends who will hold each up or listen.  I find that I have so much more listening to do.

SHHHH!!!!

Just listen.  Listen beyond what its said to what was left unsaid.

WATCH!

 Watch and observe what is done and what is left undone.

And then I just sit and feel. . . breathe. . . get in touch with my deepest feelings.

What is the need?

So many people want to be heard.  So many people want a place to belong. So many people are upset by what they learned at such a young age. . . so upset by what they were conditioned to believe and  have feelings of discontent.

Sociologists may call it alienation. There are big structural shifts that have been occurring for so long and some folks feel left out, behind, angry they can't participate, angry that they need to participate.  When did the rules change?

And yet, that explanation only describes parts of the need?

Listening. . .
It is so important to listen.  Sheila Shuh was the theme speaker at the Ohio Meadville Summer Institute in Oberlin. She spoke about non-violent communication.   A style of communication that was developed in the 1960's by Marshal Rosenberg.  I recommend that you buy the book and include it in your spiritual practice.

It is important to reflect in our relationships that we can all get our needs met.  Conflict can be win-win.  This was said by Lewis Coser- Sociology 101.

My point is that if we can listen to ourselves as well as our fellow beings, we can find a way to get all of our needs met without leaving anyone out.  It takes a lot of listening and suspending judgement and learning.

Really, I am still learning this. I first read about non-violent communication about 20 years ago.  And, I'm only as good at it as I have learned to recognize my own needs and find appropriate words to use.

Using non-violent communication, does not mean that the interaction looks as pastel as pink, yellow of green colors. However, non-violent communication can include refraining from calling people names or purposely saying things that put people at a disadvantage. It can include speaking about real-life observations, sharing true stories about experiences.


Sometimes, pain gets in the way of telling a story like Joe Friday of that cop show-Dragnet.  Joe Friday firmly stated, Just the facts, mamm. Just the facts. What if we could tell our stories that way?
The facts stay the same, but the way we view them. . . . WOW!

It takes lots of practice! So much practice.  We need to practice.

Holding Each Other Up

It seems that in times when we are really uncomfortable, because there has been some tragedy, death-defying and/or fatal incident, the best we can do is to hold each other up. It is true that in life the one constant is change.

We may want to feel the regular comforts of everything being the same and yet there is opportunity in the complexity of life.

"The young become the old, mysteries do unfold" in their own time or in the time that is necessary for human beings to develop understanding. Wisdom is gained and there are opportunities for us to sit at the knee of the wise and learn as long as we are open and curious. We also get an opportunity to assess and discern what really is important to us as we journey together.  So, some habits may fall by the roadside and then again we may pick up something new.

So, when we have depended on the constant that "rain comes from the clouds, sun lights up the skies," we do not expect to see pigs fly. So when we do see something coming toward us that knocks us off our center, what do we do?

Rally the troops! my mind shouts.

As humans, we can go into fight or flight mode.

Personally, I get angry. I do rally the troops.  The adrenaline gets me ready to run, to act.

Maybe you have heard or read about this part of the human condition?  When we are really, really uncomfortable to the point that our central nervous system has taken over. . . Our thinking brain is hijacked.

But, if I take a breath, maybe more, I start to make a plan; I start to think about what is best to do at the moment. I get quiet. I might look very angry.

At church, we have friends who are very close; and we have a caring committee. We have organized a plan to do the work of holding each other up.  It's a proactive organized group.

I  keep cards and stamps on hand to mail things to folks. I carry them with me in my binder. Still, I send emails or text messages. In this digital age, I kind of feel that cards in the mail are a minimum that I can do. And still, I miss the mark. I believe in prayer, though. So, I do take a moment and think kind healing thoughts.  I suppose that the stronger the relationship you have with a person, the more likely you are to put yourself right there with the person or do as they ask...which sometimes may be to visit at specific times or wait before visiting.

We do find a way, though.  We find a way or many different ways to hold each other up. Because as that song goes "everything must change. . .  because that's the way of time. No one and nothing goes unchanged."


Everything must Change- George Benson

I'm Gonna Lift My Sister Up